Understanding
by bananathebookworm
Summary: Finn talks to Kurt about why he's transferring, and Kurt ends up telling him everything.


Twelve pairs of eyes stared at the open door in silence. Of all the things they had expected to come from Kurt, an announcement of his transfer was not one of them. They knew he had been having a hard time at McKinley, but they didn't think it had been that bad.

Mr. Schue was the first to snap out of the shock that had been cast over the club. When he tried to get his students' attention, he was met with a mixture of reactions. The girls protested loudly, while the boys were seeing red. Puck actually had to be restrained from going to find and murder Karofsky. After nearly twenty minutes of trying to get them to calm down, Mr. Schue decided it was best to call it a day, hoping they would be able to focus tomorrow.

Finn was out of his seat like a shot. He knew he hadn't been the best at standing up for Kurt in the past, and he felt incredibly guilty for that fact. It was obvious that he needed to talk to Kurt about everything. Finn had a hunch there was a lot more to the story that Kurt still wasn't telling anyone.

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><p>"Kurt!" Finn called upon entering the Hummel-Hudson home, "Hey, Kurt?"<p>

Met with silence, he realized the countertenor was probably in his room considering he hadn't left it much since they had moved in to the new house. Finn bolted up the stairs, knowing that if he and Kurt didn't talk now, the probably never would. He stopped outside Kurt's slightly open door, and he could see his brother sitting at his desk, resting his head in his hands. Finn knocked lightly before entering the room. Kurt jumped, startled, before turning to face Finn.

"Hey." Finn greeted softly.

"Hi, Finn. Was there something you needed?" Kurt asked, not actually looking at the taller boy.

Finn froze suddenly, realizing he had no clue where to start, "Uh… can we, like... you know… talk?" he managed to stammer out.

Kurt looked up at him now, hesitantly asking, "About what?"

"You know, you transferring to Dalton."

Kurt sighed; he had a feeling this was coming, "There's nothing to talk about Finn. I already told you this. McKinley isn't safe with Karofsky returning. I had no choice."

"But, why? What happened between you two that Karofsky had to threaten you?"

"Nothing happened, Finn. He said he'd kill me if I told anyone he was picking on me."

Finn couldn't help it, he snorted. Even he didn't buy that story, "Okay, our parents and the teachers may have believed that, but we both know Karofsky couldn't care less if people know about his bullying. Something else happened that he doesn't want other people to know. Something about him slipped that you found out and that made him threaten and hurt you so no one else will."

Kurt gaped at Finn. He wondered, for a second, when his stepbrother had become so perceptive, then figured it had something to do with dating Rachel. Kurt looked away and Finn took his silence to mean he was getting closer.

"Kurt?" Finn simply said.

"What?" Kurt's voice cracked a little.

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because, Finn, I can't! Like you said, he threatened to kill me over it. Obviously he doesn't want anyone else knowing!"

"But Kurt, if you tell it could make him leave McKinley for good!"

"It could, but it probably won't He fought the school board once and won, who's to say he won't be able to do it again? Besides, I'm transferring to Dalton tomorrow so I don't have to worry about him anymore."

"Kurt, please."

Kurt remained silent, suddenly finding the carpet to be fascinating.

"Why are you protecting him?"

"Because I understand why he wants to keep it a secret. It goes beyond a little extra harassment; it could completely destroy his life. I'm not going to do that to him."

"But he's pretty much destroyed your life! You're leaving McKinley, New Directions, even your house and family to board at Dalton. He's hurt you, threatened you, and caused you to live in constant fear of everything! What do you care about what'll happen to his life?"

Kurt flinched at being reminded of everything he had lost at the hands of the Neanderthal. Finn knew his words were a little harsh, and he felt a little guilty when Kurt looked at him, tears falling from his eyes.

"Wait a minute." Finn said, finally registering the first part of what Kurt had said, "What do you mean you understand? What is it Karofsky doesn't want people to know?"

Kurt paused for a moment, tensing as he seemed to be lost in memories. Finally he spoke, "Promise me something." his voice was barely above a whisper.

Finn nodded, prompting him to continue.

"I'll tell you if, and only if, no one else finds out."

Finn thought for a moment. He knew he couldn't promise that, especially if this secret turned out to be even worse than he originally thought. He also knew that if he didn't, Kurt would never tell him what had happened and it could be even worse in the long run. He finally agreed to Kurt's deal, knowing there was a good chance he would have to break his promise later.

Kurt sighed, "Finn, do you know why Karofsky always picked on me? Even before the threat?"

Finn hesitated, choosing his words carefully before answering, "It's because he doesn't like that you're gay, right?"

Kurt nodded, "That's part of it."

Finn looked at him in confusion, "Part of it?"

"Finn, Karofsky's gay." Kurt said before he could convince himself not to.

Finn's eyes widened, "You can't be serious." When he was only met with silence, he continued, "But… he… what? How did you find out?"

"Do you remember when we had that boys versus girls competition, and Puck sent me to spy on the Warblers?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with?"

"I'm getting there, just hang on." Kurt already felt better knowing he could get everything off his chest and tell someone, other than Blaine, why he was really leaving McKinley. However, he also knew that if he didn't get this out quickly, he would convince himself to not tell and nothing would be gained from this.

Finn remained silent for the rest of Kurt's story. He heard about everything from Kurt's horrible spying to his conversation with Blaine to following Blaine's advice. At least, Finn remained silent until Kurt got to the part where he followed Karofsky into the locker room.

"Are you insane?" Finn asked before he could prevent the words from leaving his mouth.

Kurt glared at him before continuing, "Anyway, I followed him into the locked room and we just, sort of, yelled at each other for a bit. He told me to back off, but I kept pushing it. I didn't listen, I kept going, he got mad and-" Kurt suddenly stopped, unable to get the next words out of his mouth.

Finn was worried that Kurt had changed his mind about telling him, "And? What did he do?" he prompted softly.

Kurt started shaking, tears returning to his eyes. Finn pulled his brother closer to him, scared at the sudden change from telling the story to a near panic attack.

"He k-kissed me." Kurt said shakily, so quiet Finn had to strain to hear.

"He… what?" Finn asked, hoping he had heard wrong.

"He kissed me! My first kiss was supposed to be special, with someone I cared about! It wasn't supposed to be stolen from me by the guy who's been terrorizing me since Kindergarten!"

Kurt finally let himself completely break down, Finn hugging him tighter and trying desperately to calm him down. He was trying to process everything Kurt had just told him, and he was so lost in thought that he almost didn't hear what Kurt was muttering.

"It's all my fault. If I hadn't pushed him, if I'd just listened to him, this wouldn't have happened."

"Kurt, no!" Finn cut him off, startling him a bit, "What Karofsky did, it's not your fault; not at all. Don't even think it. You didn't force Karofsky to hurt you, you didn't make him throw you into dumpsters and give you slushie facials, and you most definitely didn't make him kiss you. Don't even try to say this is your fault."

"But if I-"

"It's not your fault, understand? None of this is your fault!"

Kurt nodded, but Finn had a feeling Kurt didn't believe it. The two of them stayed on Kurt's bed (when they had ended up sitting there, Finn didn't remember), Finn trying to comfort him, for a while. Kurt couldn't believe he had just spilled everything, his fear of what Karofsky would do returning, and Finn was wondering what else might have happened.

"Kurt?" Finn finally asked when Kurt's tears had slowed.

"Yeah?"

"Did… did he… so anything else?" Finn asked, trying to be careful with his wording.

Kurt nodded, but said nothing at first. Finn was about to ask him to elaborate when Kurt spoke again. He told Finn about the time in the hallway, just after their conversation about the wedding, when Karofsky had dragged his hand down Kurt's chest before taking the wedding topper. Finn felt almost sick at Kurt's confession, wondering how he hadn't noticed the rather… sexual nature of the harassment. How had no one else noticed for that matter? Kurt also mentioned Mr. Schue and Coach Sylvester trying to help him, but they couldn't really do anything about it.

"He also… took to reminding me daily to not tell anyone about the kiss." Kurt's voice sounded weak from the crying. At Finn's confused look, Kurt continued, "As you noticed, the bullying got worse; dumpsters, slushies, locker slams. They became more frequent and more forceful. He also…"

Finn sighed as Kurt trailed off again. The smaller boy seemed to be doing that a lot.

"Do you… do you mind if I show you something?" Kurt asked timidly.

Finn nodded, indicating that he had no problem with Kurt's admittedly confusing request.

"Promise me you won't freak out?" Kurt asked.

Again, Finn nodded, but those words did nothing to ease Finn's worry.

Kurt stood up and unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders.

"What the hell happened?" Finn yelled, jumping of the bed and moving over to Kurt, causing the other boy to flinch. Dark bruises, some fading and some relatively new, completely covered Kurt's back, chest and upper arms.

"You said you wouldn't freak out!" Kurt tried.

"That was before I knew about this! When did this happen, Kurt? What did he do to you?" Finn pleaded, feeling tears stinging his own eyes now.

"Like I said, Karofsky reminded me daily that I was to tell no one. While the slushies, dumpster dives, and locker slams increased, he still didn't think it was enough for me to get the message. He always managed to corner me in an empty hallway, or drag me behind the dumpsters in the parking lot, or pull me into the locker room. He hit me, as a warning, and it only got worse if I tried to protest."

"He beat you up…" Finn said, horrified, phrasing it in a way Kurt still refused to, "He beat up my little brother, and I was too worried about my reputation to do anything about it. Kurt, I'm so sorry I… I-I didn't realize… I-I just-" Finn couldn't form words anymore. He couldn't believe what he had let happen. What they all had let happen. What the school had let happen. He collapsed back onto the bed as his legs gave out.

"Finn, don't blame yourself for this," Kurt said, sliding his shirt back on and sitting down beside Finn again, "No one noticed, and I didn't tell. You didn't force Karofsky to hurt me, he did it of his own accord," Kurt said, throwing Finn's own words back at him, "Besides, I don't think you, Puck, Sam, and Mike alone could stop the rest of the football team, and we already know the school board and our principal are useless."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"No, but at least I'm safe now. I'm going to Dalton where I won't have to worry about guys like Karofsky anymore. I won't have to be scared of everything anymore."

Finn hugged Kurt to him again, "I'm sorry, I'm a horrible big brother."

"Please, stop apologizing."

The two stayed in silence. Finn glanced at the clock and vaguely wondered when their parents, who had returned to work at Kurt's insistence, would be home.

Speaking of which, "Kurt, you need to tell your dad."

Kurt shot out of Finn's arms, "No! I can't Finn! You can't either! You promised, remember? You promised!" Kurt was working himself into another panic.

"Again, that was before I knew how bad it really was. Seriously Kurt, this isn't good, someone needs to know."

"I already tried, Finn! I don't know why or how, but the school board let Karofsky back after he threatened to kill me, I don't think they'll do much now. Coach Sylvester isn't the principal anymore and Figgins is kind of… useless anyway. The only thing telling my dad will do is give him another heart attack after he yells at the teacher's again."

Kurt had a point, Finn realized. The teachers at McKinley were… not the most helpful to put it nicely. They had simply watched as not only Kurt, but also the other glee members were slushied. The dumpster dives and locker slams were no secret to the teachers either.

It was then Kurt and Finn heard the front door open and close, the heavy footsteps letting them know Burt was home.

"Boys, I'm home!"

Kurt tensed, "Please, Finn. I don't want him to have another heart attack now that he's finally getting better. I'm okay now, I'm safe, he doesn't need to know."

An uneasy feeling came over Finn, and he knew Burt would find out eventually, but he found himself agreeing to Kurt's request.

Kurt visibly relaxed, gave Finn a small, appreciative smile, and left the room to go greet his father. Finn on the other hand, didn't move. Everything was giving him a headache. It didn't matter what Kurt had said Finn blamed himself for everything. He had failed as a brother. He had promised to protect Kurt, to never let anyone lay a hand on him, and he had failed. As a result, Kurt was forced to leave while Karofsky got away with a mere warning. Nothing seemed fair to Finn He knew he should tell someone, promise or not, but the way Kurt had pleaded with him not to, scared for both his father's health and what Karofsky would do if he was outed, had made him stay quiet.

Finn slipped out of Kurt's room and across the hall to his own where he fell onto his own bed. This was all so messed up, and he had no idea what to do. Finn could only hope it would all work out in the end.

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><p><em>Well, I tried to keep the two of them in character... so naturally they're both out of character. Planning for this story actually started way back during 'Theatricality' and was very different at first, then the whole bullying arc happened and it just fit so well with my original idea that I adapted the story to it. <em>

_Thanks for reading, feedback is greatly appreciated!_


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